The Harmonic Remedy: Music as a Source of Comfort and Memory

From time to time, I focus my writing on the universally cherished subject of music. With a widespread sense of political fatigue among us, now seems like the perfect moment to turn our attention to more harmonious topics. Although the November election looms a mere eight months away, the incessant political chatter surrounding figures like Biden and Trump has left many yearning for respite. To honor that sentiment, let’s delve into the soothing world of melodies and harmonies.

The Resonance of Reminiscence

I recently visited a musician friend convalescing in a rehabilitation center after undergoing hip surgery, a mishap that occurred shortly after the passing of his wife of 60 years. His wife had battled dementia in her latter years, and he recounted how their bond deepened as she neared the end of her life. As her responsiveness waned, he serenaded her with his guitar, evoking precious moments of connection through song.

They had both experienced their formative years during the dynamic era of the 1950s, just as Elvis Presley ascended to become the iconic King of Rock 'n' Roll. When my friend strummed the tender notes of “Love Me Tender,” his wife's face lit up with a semblance of a smile. Lively renditions of “Teddy Bear” broadened her grin, while “You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog” elicited a hearty laugh from her. Although these musical interludes were fleeting due to her frailty, they reaffirmed the tangible healing capacity of music.

Melodic Bridges to the Past

These recollections made me reflect on my own mother, who began showing signs of a fading memory in her early 80s, with significant memory loss by age 90. Yet, even as she clung to her recollections of us, her children, her inherent jovial nature enabled her to give the impression of remembering far more. Those Sunday drives to dine out after church services became an auditory journey back in time, as music rekindled her memories.

My mother, just like myself, held dear those tunes from her younger days, songs likely absorbed while going about her daily routines or perhaps offering solace during her shifts at the hosiery mill where she labored. These tracks resonated with her in a way that allowed them to become indelibly etched in her memory, surpassing even my own engagement with lyrics.

The family car rides, once filled with the sounds of 60s and 70s hits, now saw a new companion in the channel featuring the ripe melodies of the 1940s. It was as though the music had the power to transport my ailing mother back to the prime of her youth. Whether swaying to the magnetic pulse of a Harry James number or joyfully singing along to timeless pieces by Jimmie Davis or Glenn Miller, my mother’s spirits were visibly uplifted.

The most astonishing moment came when a 1948 song by Dinah Shore, “Buttons and Bows,” came on. My mother, despite her habitual repetition of recent conversations and oblivion to events that had just transpired, knew every word to the song. In those moments of song, she seemed to shed decades, reverting back to a much younger version of herself, and for a brief time, music offered her a solace that no medication could.

Forever in Tune

Perhaps, in the distant future, my sons will accompany me to a meal and as the classic “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees plays, I'll be the one struggling to recall the words. But who knows? Maybe the lyrics are somewhere deep within, waiting to revel once more in the nostalgia and healing that only music can provide.

music, memory, healing